Today I am writing from a place of self-evaluation and hopefully what I have to say to you will touch you in a way that it inspires you to seek out your own truth of who you are and what you really desire.
This four-letter word love is a word that we all use so frequently that sometimes we don’t take time to really understand the in depth meaning that comes along with the word. We use it to express how deeply we care for our friends, family, lovers and more. However, we say the word I love you but our actions or expression of how we show it never adds up. For some time now I have been wanting to be in love and hope that one day love will find me. When I think back and reflect on all the people who I came in close contact with and thought they loved me I realized they never really loved me they were in love with the idea of having me around because of the love the flows on the inside of me. My energy and how I made them feel is what they were drawn to, but the truth is I myself was looking for that same energy of what I thought love should be. Love can not come to you if you first do not understand who you are and love all of who you are. People that come into your life often come in forms of lessons trying to teach you things or show you a reflection mirror of how you treat and feel about yourself. At the age of 26 I have only been in one serious real relationship in that was in 2016 when I went away to college.
The relationship did not last because of long distance and I still had some maturing to do. I was young and eagerly willing to be with a guy who did not really care about me that I was willing to mess up the relationship I had with my family just to be with him. The moment he was not willing to fight for me or the relationship that’s when I had to wake up and realize that he was never In love with me he was in like with the convent benefits that I was giving to him and once things changed he was ready to let me go an find someone else who would give him all of those same things. Every guy or friend that I continued to connect with I realized I kept repeating the same lesson. I kept putting myself last and putting them first and at the end of everything I always ended up hurt and giving to much to soon and not allowing them to show me they earned the benefits of being worthy to be my friend/partner. Until I got tired of being mistreated and wanted change that is when my healing began to come. People get comfortable with being in friendships/relationships with you if they can control you and your doing what they want you to do. But the moment you decide to say no and choose yourself first and expose them for who they really are is when they begin to dislike, disappear, and speak ill intent on your name.
I could go on and on about all the bad experiences I’ve had dealing with love but it will do me no good because that would only mean I am continuing to rehearse and nurse those past feelings. I have chosen to forgive and let go of those people and things who no longer serve me and so should you. Love is beyond the word its an action and way of expression and something that is known to be a universal language. Discover who you are remove your own mask that keep you from loving yourself and also allowing those who are meant to come in and love you like you never thought you could be loved. Self-love and self-care go hand and hand be more kind to yourself treat yourself how you want to be treated and set healthy boundaries to keep yourself relationships/friendships happy. Be excited about yourself and remember you set the tone for love it starts and ends with you. Be authentic believe in you and don’t be afraid to start a new chapter. What is meant for you will come to you stop chasing people and things who do cherish or respect who you are and the value you bring to them. You set the tone for your own life so live now and get your glow up. Evaluate yourself who you are your wants and desires and find out your true love language. Below will be tips and articles to help better assist you with you process of self-love healing and understanding love.
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